She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
