I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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