Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
