We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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