Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
