I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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