i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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