I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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