Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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