my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
