I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
