White coat. Heels.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
