the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
