I CAN MOONWALK!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
