What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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