what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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