I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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