I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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