My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
