I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
