imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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