I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
