why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
