And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
