So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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