I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
