You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
