yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
