just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
