ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
