You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
