Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This is my gift to your gina
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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