No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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