Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
