So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
