She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
