That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
do nipples grow back?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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