the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
