It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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