Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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