Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
