One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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