Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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