i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
