I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize