did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
