i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
