i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
