Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
