i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
