She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
