I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
