Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
