Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
