You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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