Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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