therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
