Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
