Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
