I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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