What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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