Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
