The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
